e
husband of your sister as brother. Erasmus commends it in his opening
chapter, under the head of Salutandi formuloe. And indeed," added my
father, thoughtfully, "there is no great difference between politeness
and affection. My author here observes that it is polite to express
salutation in certain minor distresses of nature. One should salute a
gentleman in yawning, salute him in hiccuping, salute him in sneezing,
salute him in coughing,--and that evidently because of your interest in
his health; for he may dislocate his jaw in yawning, and the hiccup is
often a symptom of grave disorder, and sneezing is perilous to the small
blood-vessels of the head, and coughing is either a tracheal, bronchial,
pulmonary, or ganglionic affection."

"Very true. The Turks always salute in sneezing, and they are a
remarkably polite people," said Uncle Jack. "But, my dear brother, I was
just looking with admiration at these apple-trees of yours. I never saw
finer. I am a great judge of apples. I find, in talking with my sister,
that you make very little profit by them. That's a pity. One might
establish a cider orchard in this county. You can take your own fields
in hand; you can hire more, so as to make the whole, say a hundred
acres. You can plant a very extensive apple-orchard on a grand scale. I
have just run through the calculations; they are quite startling. Take
40 trees per acre--that's the proper average--at 1s. 6d. per tree;
4,000 trees for 100 acres, L300; labor of digging, trenching, say L10
an acre,--total for 100 acres, L1,000. Pave the bottoms of the holes
to prevent the tap-root striking down into the bad soil,--oh! I am very
close and careful you see, in all minutiae; always was,--pave 'em with
rubbish and stones, 6d. a hole; that for 4,000 trees the 100 acres is
L100. Add the rent of the land, at 30s. an acre,--L150. And how stands
the total?" Here Uncle Jack proceeded rapidly ticking off the items with
his fingers:--

"Trees........... 300
Labor........... 1,000
Paving holes.... 100
Rent............ 150
____
Total....... L1,550

"That's your expense. Mark! Now to the profit. Orchards in Kent realize
L100 an acre, some even L150; but let's be moderate, say only L50 an
acre, and your gross profit per year, from a capital of L1,550, will
be L5,000,--L5,000 a-year. Think of that, brother Caxton! Deduct 10 per
cent, or L500 a-year, for gardeners' wag