o reason about. It is just feeling. But I do feel as if
I could not go. Dear Jemima! if you are ill or sorrowful, and want
me, I will come--"

"So you would and must to any one, if you take up that calling."

"But I should come to you, love, in quite a different way; I should
go to you with my heart full of love--so full that I am afraid I
should be too anxious."

"I almost wish I were ill, that I might make you come at once."

"And I am almost ashamed to think how I should like you to be in some
position in which I could show you how well I remember that day--that
terrible day in the school-room. God bless you for it, Jemima!"

CHAPTER XXX

The Forged Deed

Mr Wynne, the parish surgeon, was right. He could and did obtain
employment for Ruth as a sick nurse. Her home was with the Bensons;
every spare moment was given to Leonard and to them; but she was
at the call of all the invalids in the town. At first her work lay
exclusively among the paupers. At first, too, there was a recoil
from many circumstances, which impressed upon her the most fully the
physical sufferings of those whom she tended. But she tried to lose
the sense of these--or rather to lessen them, and make them take
their appointed places--in thinking of the individuals themselves,
as separate from their decaying frames; and all along she had
enough self-command to control herself from expressing any sign of
repugnance. She allowed herself no nervous haste of movement or
touch that should hurt the feelings of the poorest, most friendless
creature, who ever lay a victim to disease. There was no rough
getting over of all the disagreeable and painful work of her
employment. When it was a lessening of pain to have the touch careful
and delicate, and the ministration performed with gradual skill, Ruth
thought of her charge, and not of herself. As she had foretold, she
found a use for all her powers. The poor patients themselves were
unconsciously gratified and soothed by her harmony and refinement of
manner, voice, and gesture. If this harmony and refinement had been
merely superficial, it would not have had this balmy effect. That
arose from its being the true expression of a kind, modest, and
humble spirit. By degrees her reputation as a nurse spread upwards,
and many sought her good offices who could well afford to pay for
them. Whatever remuneration was offered to her, she took it simply
and without comment; for she felt that it was not her