a flagrant outrage against the laws of the university, he checked his
indignation, and resolved to revenge the injury in a more cool and
contemptuous manner. Thus determined, he set on foot an inquiry into
the particulars of Jumble's parentage and education. He learnt that the
father of this insolent tutor was a brick-layer, that his mother sold
pies, and that the son, in different periods of his youth, had amused
himself in both occupations, before he converted his views to the study
of learning. Fraught with this intelligence, he composed the following
ballad in doggerel rhymes; and next day, presented it as a gloss upon
the text which the tutor had chosen:--

Come, listen, ye students of every degree;
I sing of a wit and a tutor perdie,
A statesman profound, a critic immense,
In short a mere jumble of learning and sense;
And yet of his talents though laudably vain,
His own family arts he could never attain.

His father, intending his fortune to build,
In his youth would have taught him the trowel to wield,
But the mortar of discipline never would stick,
For his skull was secured by a facing of brick;
And with all his endeavours of patience and pain,
The skill of his sire he could never attain.

His mother, a housewife neat, artful, and wise,
Renown'd for her delicate biscuit and pies,
soon alter'd his studies, by flattering his taste,
From the raising of walls to the rearing of paste!
But all her instructions were fruitless and vain;
The pie-making mystery he ne'er could attain.

Yet true to his race, in his labours were seen
A jumble of both their professions, I ween;
For, when his own genius he ventured to trust,
His pies seemed of brick, and his houses of crust.
Then good Mr. Tutor, pray be not so vain,
Since your family arts you could never attain.

This impudent production was the most effectual vengeance he could
have taken on his tutor, who had all the supercilious arrogance and
ridiculous pride of a low-born pedant. Instead of overlooking this
petulant piece of satire with that temper and decency of disdain that
became a person of his gravity and station, he no sooner cast his eye
over the performance, than the blood rushed into his countenance, and
immediately after exhibited a ghastly pale colour. With a quivering lip,
he told his pupil, that he was an impertinent jackanapes; and he would
take care t