now plainly perceived
that he wanted to tear himself from her, and that his affections were
settled upon another. He was sensibly affected by this proof of her
concern, and endeavoured to calm the perturbation of her mind, by vowing
eternal fidelity, and pressing her to accept of his hand in due form
before his departure. By these means her transports were quieted for the
present, and the marriage deferred for the same prudential reasons which
had hitherto prevented it.

"Matters being thus compromised, and the day fixed for his departure,
she, together with her faithful maid, one morning visited him for the
first time at his own lodgings; and, after breakfast, desiring to speak
with him in private, he conducted her into another room, where assuming
an unusual gravity of aspect, 'My dear M--,' said she, 'you are now
going to leave me, and God alone knows if ever we shall meet again;
therefore, if you really love me with that tenderness which you profess,
you will accept of this mark of my friendship and unalterable affection;
it will at least be a provision for your journey, and if an accident
should befall me, before I have the happiness of receiving you again
into my arms, I shall have the satisfaction of knowing that you are
not altogether without resource.' So saying, she put an embroidered
pocket-book into his hand. He expressed the high sense he had of her
generosity and affection in the most pathetic terms, and begged leave
to suspend his acceptance, until he should know the contents of her
present, which was so extraordinary, that he absolutely refused to
receive it. He was, however, by her repeated entreaties, in a manner
compelled to receive about one-half, and she afterwards insisted upon
his taking a reinforcement of a considerable sum for the expense of his
journey.

"Having stayed with her ten days beyond the time he had fixed for his
departure, and settled the method of their correspondence, he took his
leave, with a heart full of sorrow, anxiety, and distraction, produced
from the different suggestions of his duty and love. He then set out for
France, and, after a short stay at Paris, proceeded to Aix in Provence,
and from thence to Marseilles, at which two places he continued for some
months. But nothing he met with being able to dissipate those melancholy
ideas which still preyed upon his imagination, and affected his spirits,
he endeavoured to elude them with a succession of new objects; and, with