led out of the hut. Oh, fool of fools, why had he been dallying
with dreams--billing and cooing with his own fancies--fondling and
nuzzling and coddling them? Let all dreams henceforth be dead and damned
for ever; for only devils out of hell had made them that poor men's
souls might be staked and lost! Oh, why had he not remembered the pale
face of Naomi when he left her, and the silence of her tongue that had
used to laugh? Fool, fool! Why had he ever left her at all?
With such thoughts Israel hurried along, sometimes running at his
utmost velocity, and then stopping dead short; sometimes shouting his
imprecations at the pitch of his voice and beating his fist against the
sharp aloes until it bled, and then whispering to himself in awe.
Would God not hear his prayer? God knew the child was very near and dear
to him, and also that he was a lonely man. "Have pity on a lonely man,
O God!" he whispered. "Let me keep my child; take all else that I have,
everything, no matter what! Only let me keep her--yes, just as she is,
let me have her still! Time was when I asked more of Thee, but now I am
humble, and ask that alone."
On his knees in a lonesome place, with the fierce sun beating down on
his uncovered head, amid the blackened leaves left by the locust, he
prayed this prayer, and then rose to his feet and ran.
When he got to Tetuan the white city was glistening under the setting
sun. Then he thought of his Moorish jellab, and looked at himself, and
saw that he was returning home like a beggar; and he remembered with
what splendour he had started out. Should he wait for the darkness, and
creep into his house under the cover of it? If the thought had occurred
an hour before he must have scouted it. Better to brave the looks of
every face in Tetuan than be kept back one minute from Naomi. But now
that he was so near he was afraid to go in; and now that he was so soon
to learn the truth he dreaded to hear it. So he walked to and fro on the
heath outside the town, paltering with himself, struggling with himself,
eating out his heart with eagerness, trying to believe that he was
waiting for the night.
The night came at length, and, under a deep-blue sky fast whitening with
thick stars, Israel passed unknown through the Moorish gate, which was
still open, and down the narrow lane to the market square. At the gate
of the Mellah, which was closed, he knocked, and demanded entrance in
the name of the Kaid. The Moorish guar
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