ul within, than in returning to my home, where all comparatively was
light, and life, and cheerfulness, and therefore inimical to me in my
present frame of mind,--and the more so that its inmates all were more or
less imbued with that detestable belief, the very thought of which made
my blood boil in my veins--and how could I endure to hear it openly
declared, or cautiously insinuated--which was worse?--I had had trouble
enough already, with some babbling fiend that would keep whispering in my
ear, 'It may be true,' till I had shouted aloud, 'It is false! I defy
you to make me suppose it!'

I could see the red firelight dimly gleaming from her parlour window. I
went up to the garden wall, and stood leaning over it, with my eyes fixed
upon the lattice, wondering what she was doing, thinking, or suffering
now, and wishing I could speak to her but one word, or even catch one
glimpse of her, before I went.

I had not thus looked, and wished, and wondered long, before I vaulted
over the barrier, unable to resist the temptation of taking one glance
through the window, just to see if she were more composed than when we
parted;--and if I found her still in deep distress, perhaps I might
venture attempt a word of comfort--to utter one of the many things I
should have said before, instead of aggravating her sufferings by my
stupid impetuosity. I looked. Her chair was vacant: so was the room.
But at that moment some one opened the outer door, and a voice--her
voice--said,--'Come out--I want to see the moon, and breathe the evening
air: they will do me good--if anything will.'

Here, then, were she and Rachel coming to take a walk in the garden. I
wished myself safe back over the wall. I stood, however, in the shadow
of the tall holly-bush, which, standing between the window and the porch,
at present screened me from observation, but did not prevent me from
seeing two figures come forth into the moonlight: Mrs. Graham followed by
another--not Rachel, but a young man, slender and rather tall. O
heavens, how my temples throbbed! Intense anxiety darkened my sight; but
I thought--yes, and the voice confirmed it--it was Mr. Lawrence!

'You should not let it worry you so much, Helen,' said he; 'I will be
more cautious in future; and in time--'

I did not hear the rest of the sentence; for he walked close beside her
and spoke so gently that I could not catch the words. My heart was
splitting with hatred; but I listened intent