pull your house about your ears. You know very well how
universally you are hated already, and you may rest assured you will
have such an escort to conduct you hence as shall leave you marks enough
on your back to serve as a remembrancer of your parting, let you live as
long as you may, that I promise you!'

"Like a treacherous, mean-spirited wretch as he was, Cut-in-Half, the
better to effect his villainous design, instead of quarrelling further
with Le Doyen, feigned to submit to his decision, and replied, in a
false, wheedling tone, 'You were wrong to strike me, my worthy
neighbour, or to imagine I had any intention of harming Gringalet; on
the contrary, I tell you again I was merely teaching my monkey a new
trick; he is rather awkward when he is put out in any way, and, while
trying to manage him, the boy got a few trifling bites, which I very
much regret.' 'Humph!' said Le Doyen, casting a scrutinising look on
him; 'now is this all gospel you are telling me? And why, if you only
wished to teach a thing to your monkey, did you fasten him to
Gringalet?' 'Because the boy has to learn the trick as well as the
animal. Now this is what I want to do,--to dress up Gargousse in a red
coat and a hat with a feather in it, like a barber, and then Gringalet
is to sit in a little chair, with a cloth tucked under his chin, while
the monkey affects to shave him with a large wooden razor.' The joke
appeared so very droll to Le Doyen that he could not forbear laughing.
'Isn't that a funny idea?' inquired Cut-in-Half, in a crafty and
malicious manner. 'Why, upon my word,' answered Le Doyen, 'it does
strike me as a very amusing device, and one which, I doubt not, your
monkey would carry into execution most admirably, that is, if he be as
clever and skilful in imitation as he is represented.' 'Oh, bless you!'
continued Cut-in-Half, 'when he has seen me for five or six times make
believe to shave Gringalet, he will imitate me exactly with his large
wooden razor; but for that purpose it is absolutely necessary he should
become habituated to the boy, and that was my reason for fastening them
both together.' 'But why did you select Gringalet more than any other of
your boys?' 'Because he was the least among 'em, so that, you see, when
he sat down the monkey was the taller of the two.

"'To be sure I had another reason besides, M. le Doyen, although I know
a man oughtn't to own such a thing as making a difference with his boys,
but, for a