d all my arts in vain. My prettiest
frocks, my most coquettish glances, were all wasted on him. It seemed
to me that I had not even made him see that I might be won, if he
would woo. He went away, and I thought that I would never meet him
again, for he had been but a summer visitor. My heart was broken, and
besides my pride was hurt, for I suffered the bitterness of being
taunted with my failure by my sisters. A year later, he came to me
again. Several months before, I had gone to live in Boston, but in
some way he had found me out. To my surprise, he told me that he knew
that I loved him. He said that he had not offered me his love, because
he was already married. Then he asked me to do him a favor. I gladly
assented, without knowing what he would ask, for I would have
sacrificed anything for him, I loved him so. The next day he brought
me a beautiful baby boy. He told me it was his, that his wife was ill,
and that he wished me to care for the baby for a year, whilst he went
to Europe. I undertook the charge, without considering the
consequences. I returned to the farm, bound to secrecy as to the
child's parentage. Very soon I discovered that my friends shunned me,
and then I learned that by taking you, Leon, I had lost my good name.
Well! I did not care. You were his baby! You had his eyes, and so my
heart grew hard against the world, but I determined to keep the baby
whose fingers had already gripped my heart. Then, shut out from all
friendships, scorned even by my sisters to whom I had refused to make
any explanation, I began to pray that something, anything, would
happen so that you should not be taken from me. My wicked prayer was
answered, for later I learned that the young mother had died, and I
was to continue caring for you. At first my joy was very great, but
soon I recognized, that you were mine only because I had prayed for
the death of your mother. The Lord had granted my wish, as an
everlasting punishment for my sinful longing. Thenceforward, however
much I yearned to press you to my heart, I have not dared to do so. I
have tried to accept the chastisement of the Lord with meekness of
spirit. And so I have had my wish! I have kept you with me, ever to be
a reproach for my sin. But I thank the Lord, that at the end he has
allowed me to have one full moment of happiness. He has granted me the
boon to see that my boy has learned to love me in spite of all my
harshness. You have kissed me, Leon, and called me