went down on the eve of election
day the ground had that disheveled and torn-up appearance peculiar to
the grave of Brigham Young the next day after his aggregated widow has
held her regular annual sob recital and scalding-tear festival.

I hesitated about accepting the nomination because I knew that
Vituperation would get up on its hind feet and annoy me greatly, and I
had reason to believe that no pains would be spared on the part of the
management of the opposition to make my existence a perfect bore. This
turned out to be the case, and although I was nominated in a way that
seemed to indicate perfect harmony, it was not a week before the
opposition organ, to which I had frequently loaned print paper when it
could not get its own C. O. D. paper out of the express office, said as
follows in a startled and double-leaded tone of voice:

"HUMILIATING DISCLOSURE.

"The candidate for assembly in this district, whose trans-Missouri
name seems to be Nye, turns out to be the same man who left
Penobscot county, Maine, in the dark of the moon four years ago.
Mr. Nye's disappearance was so mysterious that prominent
Penobscoters, especially the sheriff, offered a large reward for
his person. It was afterwards learned that he was kidnapped
and taken across the Canadian line by a high-spirited
and high-stepping horse valued at $1,300. Mr. Nye's candidacy for
the high office to which he aspires has brought him into such
prominence that at the mass meeting held last evening in Jimmy
Avery's barber-shop, he was recognized at once by a Maine man while
making a telling speech in favor of putting in a stone culvert at
the draw above Mandel's ranch. The man from Maine, who is visiting
our thriving little town with a view to locating here and
establishing an agency for his world-renowned rock-alum axe-helves,
says that Mr. Nye, in the hurry and rush incident to his departure
for Canada, overlooked his wife and seven little ones. He also says
that the candidate's boasted liberality here is different from the
kind he was using while in Maine, and quotes the following
incident: Two years before he went away from Penobscot county, one
of our present candidate's children was playing on the railroad
track of the Bangor & Moosehead Lake Railroad, when suddenly there
was a wild shriek of the iron-horse, a timid, scared cry of the