. Alice was very nearly getting up and
saying "Thank you, sir, for your interesting story," but she could not
help thinking there _must_ be more to come, so she sat still and said
nothing.

"When we were little," the Mock Turtle went on at last, more calmly,
though still sobbing a little now and then, "we went to school in the
sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call him Tortoise----"

"Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?" Alice asked.

"We called him Tortoise because he taught us," said the Mock Turtle
angrily: "really you are very dull!"

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question,"
added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at poor
Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon said
to the Mock Turtle, "Drive on, old fellow. Don't be all day about it!"
and he went on in these words:

"Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it----"

"I never said I didn't!" interrupted Alice.

"You did," said the Mock Turtle.

"Hold your tongue!" added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak again.
The Mock Turtle went on:--

"We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school every
day----"

"_I've_ been to a day-school, too," said Alice; "you needn't be so proud
as all that."

"With extras?" asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.

"Yes," said Alice, "we learned French and music."

"And washing?" said the Mock Turtle.

"Certainly not!" said Alice indignantly.

"Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school," said the Mock Turtle in a
tone of relief. "Now at _ours_ they had at the end of the bill, 'French,
music, _and washing_--extra.'"

"You couldn't have wanted it much," said Alice; "living at the bottom of
the sea."

"I couldn't afford to learn it," said the Mock Turtle with a sigh. "I
only took the regular course."

"What was that?" inquired Alice.

"Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with," the Mock Turtle
replied; "and then the different branches of Arithmetic--Ambition,
Distraction, Uglification, and Derision."

"I never heard of 'Uglification,'" Alice ventured to say. "What is it?"

The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. "Never heard of
uglifying!" it exclaimed. "You know what to beautify is, I suppose?"

"Yes," said Alice doubtfully: "it means--to--make--anything--prettier."

"Well, then," the Gryphon went on, "if you don't know what to uglify is,
you are a simpleton.