with what
was then a mystery. Many of my readers--indeed, I may say the greater
portion of them--will require no explanation of this matter; and as for
those who are in ignorance of it, I will simply say, long may they keep
so!

My friend tossed off his cocktail with the air of one who is used to it,
and rather liked it than otherwise; but I was not quite so successful,
for being wholly unacquainted with the science of drinking, the strength
of the liquor nearly choked me, to the intense amusement of my more
experienced friend, who advised me to try again. I _did_ try again, and
more successfully, the liquor went the way of all rum, and soon produced
the usual effects. Of course its influence on me was exceedingly
powerful, I being entirely unaccustomed to its use. A very agreeable
feeling of exhilaration stole over me--I thought I was worth just one
hundred thousand dollars--I embraced my friend and swore he was a
"trump"--I then noticed, with mild surprise, that he had been multiplied
into two individuals--there were two barkeepers now, although just
before I drank, there was but one--an additional chandelier had just
stepped in to visit the solitary one which had lighted the room--to
speak plainly, I saw double; and to sum the whole matter up in a few
words, I was, for the first time in my life, most decidedly and
incontestably _drunk_.

As nearly as I can remember, my friend linked his arm within mine, and
we passed out into the street--he partially supporting me, and keeping
me from falling. Two precious youths, of twelve years of age, we
certainly were--one staggering and trying to fall down, and the other
laughing, and holding him up!

The rain had ceased falling, and the stars were shining as if nothing
had happened. The cool air sobered me, and my friend congratulated me on
my recovery from a state of inebriety.

"After a little practice at the bar," said he--"it will take a good many
_tods_ to _floor_ you. Let me give you a few hints as regards drinking.
Never mix your liquor--always stick to one kind. After every glass, eat
a cracker--or, what is better, a pickle. Plain drinks are always the
best--far preferable to fancy drinks, which contain sugar, and lemons,
and mint, and other trash; although a mixed drink may be taken on a
stormy night, such as this has been. Drink ale, or beer, sparingly, and
only after dinner--for, taken in large quantities, it is apt to bloat a
person, and it plays the very devil