he empire.

Peter, who dearly loved a practical joke, learning the aspirations of
the old sot, promised to confer on him the most eminent office in the
world, and accordingly appointed him _Kniaz Papa_ that is, prince-pope,
with a salary of two thousand roubles and a palace at St. Petersburg.
The exaltation of Sotof to this dignity was solemnized by a performance
more gross than ludicrous. Buffoons were chosen to lift the new
dignitary to his throne, and four fellows who stammered with every word
delivered absurd addresses upon his exaltation. The mock pope then
created a number of cardinals, at whose head he rode through the streets
in procession, his seat of state being a cask of brandy which was
carried on a sledge drawn by four oxen.

The cardinals followed, and after them came sledges laden with food and
drink, while the music of the procession consisted of a hideous turmoil
of drums, trumpets, horns, fiddles, and hautboys, all playing out of
time, mingled with the ear-splitting clatter of pots and pans vigorously
beaten by a troop of cooks and scullions. Next came a number of men
dressed as Roman Catholic monks, each carrying a bottle and a glass. In
the rear of the procession marched the czar and his courtiers, Peter
dressed as a Dutch skipper, the others wearing various comic disguises.

The place fixed for the conclave being reached, the cardinals were led
into a long gallery, along which had been built a range of closets. In
each of these a cardinal was shut up, abundantly provided with food and
drink. To each of the cardinals two conclavists were attached, whose
duty it was to ply them with brandy, carry insulting messages from one
to another, and induce them, as they grew tipsy, to bawl out all sorts
of abuse of one another. To all this ribaldry the czar listened with
delight, taking note at the same time of anything said of which he might
make future use against the participants.

This orgy lasted three days and three nights, the cardinals not being
released until they had agreed upon answers to a number of ridiculous
questions propounded to them by the Kniaz Papa. Then the doors were
flung open, and the pope and his cardinals were drawn home at mid-day
dead drunk on sledges,--that is, such of them as survived, for some had
actually drunk themselves to death, while others never recovered from
the effect of their debauch.

This offensive absurdity appealed so strongly to the czar's idea of
humor that he