then
Hester's quiet grief would have melted away with time, unembittered by
reproach of him. No one had, till this hour, loved and relished life
more than he; yet now this gladsome being caught himself mourning that
he had survived his accident. He roused himself from this; but all was
fearful and confused before him. He could see nothing as it was, and as
it ought to be: he could decide upon nothing. He must take time: he
must be deliberate upon this, the most important transaction of his
life.

Thus he determined, as the last remains of twilight faded away in his
apartment, and the night air blew in chill from the open window. He was
so exhausted by his mental conflict as to be scarcely able to rise to
close the window, and retire to rest. There was one hope, familiar as
the sunshine to his eyes, but unusually feeble, still abiding in his
mind for comfort,--that he should, sooner or later, clearly discern what
it was his duty to do. All was at present dark; but this light might
flow in. He would wait: he would not act till it did.

He did wait. For many days he was not seen in any of the haunts, to
which he had begun to return. The answer to inquiries was that Mr Hope
was not so well, and wished for entire quiet. Everyone was anxious.
Hester was wretched, and Mrs Grey extremely restless and uneasy. She
made several attempts to see him; but in no instance did she succeed.
She wrote him a private note, and received only a friendly verbal
answer, such as all the world might hear.

Mr Hope did wait for his duty to grow clear in the accumulating light
of thought. He decided at length how to act; and he decided wrong;--not
for want of waiting long enough, but because some considerations
intruded themselves which warped his judgment, and sophisticated his
feelings. He decided upon making the great mistake of his life.

Nothing had ever been clearer to his mind than the guilt of marrying
without love. No man could have spoken more strongly, more solemnly
than he, on the presumption, the dishonourableness, the profligacy, of
such an act: but he was unaware how a man may be betrayed into it while
he has neither presumption, nor treachery, nor profligacy in his
thoughts. Hope went through a world of meditation during the days of
his close retirement; some of his thoughts were superficial, and some
deceived him. He considered Margaret lost to him: he glanced forwards
to his desolation when he should lose the