s not like the men about him--
content with the winning of wealth and position in the world; but there
came a time when it was brought sharply home to him that without these
he could not be content. It was a great shock and surprise to him to be
forced to realise how far he had drifted on with the current, and how
impossible it had become to get back to the old starting-place again,
and in the knowledge he did not spare himself, but used harder and
sterner words of self-contempt than any that are written here.

Ruthven's intercourse with his uncle's family, though occurring at long
intervals, had been of a very pleasant kind, for he was a great
favourite with his aunt and his cousin Lilias, who was then a child.
Indeed, she was only a child when her mother died; and when there fell
into his hands a letter written by his aunt to his mother, during one of
his first visits to M, in which half seriously, half playfully, was
expressed a wish that the cousins might one day stand in a nearer and
dearer relation to one another, he was greatly surprised and amused. I
am afraid it was only the thought that the hand that had penned the wish
was cold in death, that kept him from shocking his mother by laughing
outright at the idea. For what a child Lilias must have been when that
was written, thought he! what a child she was still!

But the years went on, and the child grew into a beautiful woman, and
the remembrance of his aunt's wish was pleasant to Allan Ruthven,
because of his love and admiration for his cousin, and because of other
things. He could not be blind to the advantages that such a connection
would ensure to him. The new partnership was anticipated and entered
upon, on very different terms from those which might have been, but for
the silent understanding with regard to Lilias that existed between the
uncle and nephew. It was no small matter that the young merchant should
find himself in a position to which the greater number attain only after
half a lifetime of labour. He was at the head of a lucrative business,
conscious of possessing skill and energy to conduct it well--conscious
of youth and health and strength to enjoy the future opening before him.
Nor was there anything wrong in this appreciation of the advantages of
his position. He knew that this wealth had not bought him. He loved
his cousin Lilias, or he thought he loved her; and though up to this
time, and after this time their intercourse was onl