nment of buying
_The Morning Post_ and _The Daily News_ on alternate days.

* * *

Bobbing for eels is being pursued with much enthusiasm on the Norfolk
Broads. Two-bobbing for haddocks in Kensington is sport enough for
most of us.

* * *

Large numbers of the German prisoners taken at Messines wore new boots
and new uniforms. Other improvements included a less ragged rendering
of the well-known recitation, "Kamerad!"

* * *

Asked what bait could be used for coarse fish, the late
FOOD-CONTROLLER suggested one "made from bran, with a limited quantity
of oatmeal." The correspondent has now written to inquire whether the
fish have been officially informed of the new diet.

* * *

Four shillings a hundredweight is being paid for old omnibus tickets,
but there are still a few people who use these vehicles for pleasure,
without any motive of gain.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Visitor_. "YES, BUT WHAT'S THE POINT OF WHITEWASHING
THE TREE TRUNKS?"

_Amateur Gardener_. "I CAN'T SAY FOR CERTAIN; BUT I _THINK_ THE IDEA
IS TO KEEP THE BATS FROM KNOCKING THEIR HEADS IN THE DARK."]

* * * * *

=Suspended Animation.=

"LAUNDRY.--Girl to hang up and make herself useful."--_Liverpool
Echo_.

* * * * *

"For myself, I have very good reasons for not being in khaki. I
live on a farm near the Grand Falls of the St. John River. These
falls are second to Niagara in size and splendour, and attract
visitors from all over the country."--_Canadian Paper_.

He must have told the recruiting-officer that he was subject to
cataract.

* * * * *

=T.M.G.=

Farewell, my CONSTANTINE! A guardian navy
Facilitates your exit on the blue;
For Greece has been this long while in the gravy
And he that put her there was plainly you;
"TINO MUST GO!" was writ for all to see,
Or, briefly, "T.M.G."

Whither, dear Sir, do you propose to sally?
To Switzerland's recuperative air,
To sip condensed milk in a private chalet
Or pluck the lissom chamois from his lair,
Or on the summit of a neutral Alp
Recline your crownless scalp?

Or did you ask from him you love so dearly
A royal haven fenced from rude alarms,
Even though WILLIAM should reserve you merely
A bedroom at "The Hohenzollern Arms,"
Having for poor relations on the lo