gun position or do
the sort of thing they give you a V.C. for. Of course, there are a few
cases where it's deserved, and it isn't always the one who deserves it
that gets it. I'm quite certain the refined, sensitive, imaginative kind
of man is no good as a soldier. He may be able to control himself better
than the others at first--educated people are used to self-control--but
in the long run his nerves will give way sooner. Moral courage is a
thing I admire more than anything, but there's no use for it in the
army, in fact it's worse than useless in the army. The man who's too
servile to be capable of feeling humiliation and too stupid to
understand what danger is--that's the man who makes a good, steady
soldier. We've seen men so horribly smashed up by bombs that it makes
you sick to look at them, and then people expect us not to be afraid of
air-raids. The civvies haven't seen that sort of thing, so they may well
show plenty of pluck, although I believe there are a good many with
enough imagination to have the wind up when there's an air-raid on."

"Bloody true. You know, if there was a lot o' civvies an' a lot of
Tommies in a Blighty air-raid, I reckon the civvies'd show more pluck
than the Tommies. My mate who's workin' on munitions told me 'e saw
'underds o' soldiers rushin' to take shelter in the last raid on London.
O' course there was crowds o' civvies doin' the same, but 'e says there
was a lot what didn't seem to care a damn. The other day we 'ad a bloody
parson spoutin' to us--'e said war brings out a man's pluck an' makes an
'ero of 'im. I reckon that's all bloody tosh! War makes cowards of yer,
that's the 'ole truth o' the matter, I don't care what yer say. I didn't
know what fear was afore I joined the army. I know now, you bet! I'm a
bloody coward now--I don't mind admittin' it. There's things I used ter
do what I wouldn't dare do now. When we go up the line I'm in a blue
funk from the time I 'ears the first shell burst to the time we goes
over the top. An' when we goes over I forgets everythink an' don't know
what I'm doin'. P'raps I'll get a V.C. some day wi'out knowin' what I
done ter get it. And I'm not the only one like that. Anyone 'oo's bin
out 'ere a few months an' says 'e ain't windy up the line's a bloody
liar, there now...."

"By the way," I interrupted, "how did that orderly who works in the
theatre get his Military Medal--he had the wind up more than any of us
the other night?"

"I know wh