mpute it to indifference. My distress at
parting with him, even for a couple of months, when he went to St.
Vincent, and dejection of spirit the whole time till his return, left
them as little room to impute it to want of sensibility: at last they
imagined that I was stupefied with grief and fatigue; but they little
knew that at that hour I rejoiced; indeed I told them, but I suppose
was not believed. I was asked if I had any thing particular to say
respecting the funeral. I said, 'Nothing--my charge is gone to rest; I
would leave it to them.' It was then proposed to bury next day at ten
o'clock. I said that was very early; they answered, by that time I
would be satisfied it was not too early.

"In the evening I returned to our bed-chamber to take a last
farewell of the dear remains. The countenance was so very pleasant I
thought there was even something heavenly, and could not help saying,
'You smile upon me, my love; surely the delightful prospect opening on
the parting soul left that benign smile on its companion the body.' I
thought I could have stood and gazed for ever; but for fear of
relapsing into immoderate grief, I withdrew after a parting embrace,
and with an intention not to ask for another, lest a change in his
countenance might shake my peace; for Oh, we are weak, and at certain
times not subject to reason. I went to bed purely to get alone, for I
had little expectation of sleep; but I was mistaken; nature was fairly
overcome with watching and fatigue. I dropped asleep, and for a few
hours forgot my woes; but Oh; the pangs I felt on my first awaking. I
could not for some time believe it true that I was indeed a widow, and
that I had lost my heart's treasure--my all I held dear on earth. It
was long before day. I was in no danger of closing my eyes again, for
I was at that time abandoned to despair, till recollection and the
same considerations which at first supported me brought me a little to
myself. I considered, I wept for one that wept no more; that all my
fears for his eternal happiness were now over, and he beyond the reach
of being lost; neither was he lost to me, but added to my heavenly
treasure, more securely mine than ever. Those snares and temptations
arising from the corrupt customs of a degenerate age, which had so
often caused my fears, could never reach him there. The better, dearer
half of myself was now secure beyond the possibility of falling, and
waiting my arrival to complete his