r's.

"You know, my dear Harry," he said to his friend, "there is no use in
striving to conceal the honest vulgarity of Jemmy the gentleman from you
who know it already. I may say ditto to madam, who is unquestionably the
most vulgar of the two--for, and I am sorry to say it, in addition to a
superabundant stock of vulgarity, she has still a larger assortment of
the prides; for instance, pride of wealth, of the purse, pride of--I
was going to add, birth--ha! ha! ha!--of person, ay, of beauty, if
you please--of her large possessions--but that comes under the purse
again--and lastly--but that is the only well-founded principle among
them--of her accomplished son, Hycy. This, now, being all within your
cognizance already, my dear Hal, you take a pig's cheek and a fowl with
me to-day. There will be nobody but ourselves, for when I see company at
home I neither admit the gentleman nor the lady to table. Damn it, you
know the thing would be impossible. If you wish it, however, we shall
probably call in the gentleman after dinner to have a quiz with him;
it may relieve us. I can promise you a glass of wine, too, and that's
another reason why we should keep him aloof until the punch comes. The
wine's always a _sub silencio_ affair, and, may heaven pity me, I get
growling enough from old Bruin on other subjects."

"Anything you wish, Hycy, I am your man; but somehow I don't relish the
idea of the quiz you speak of. 'Children, obey your parents,' says
Holy Scripture; and I'd as soon not help a young fellow to laugh at his
father."

"A devilish good subject he is, though--but you must know that I can
draw just distinctions, Hal. For instance, I respect his honesty--"

"And copy it, eh?"

"Certainly--I respect his integrity, too--in fact, I appreciate all his
good qualities, and only laugh at his vulgarity and foibles."

"You intend to marry, Hycy?"

"Or, in other words, to call you brother some of these days."

"And to have sons and daughters?"

"Please the fates."

"That will do," replied Clinton, dryly.

"Ho! ho!" said Hycy, "I see. Here's a mentor with a vengeance--a fellow
with a budget of morals cut and dry for immediate use--but hang all
morality, say I; like some of my friends that talk on the subject,
I have an idiosyncrasy of constitution against it, but an abundant
temperament for pleasure."

"That's a good definition," said Clinton; "a master-touch, a very
correct likeness, indeed. I would at once know yo