Tom Davis, (you know Tom Davis?) he's
always putting his notions into people's heads, and turning the laugh
against 'em. If there's a ditch in the way, he's sure to dare some of
his companions to leap it, before he overs it himself; if he finds it
safe, away he springs like a greyhound."

"Exactly him, I know him," replied Mr. Timmis; "that's what he calls
learning to shave upon other people's chins!"

"Excellent!" exclaimed Mr. Wallis.

"He's a very devil," continued Mr. Crobble; "always proposing some fun or
other: Pic-nics are his delight; but he always leaves others to bring the
grub, and brings nothing but himself. I hate Pic-nics, squatting in the
grass don't suit me at all; when once down, I find it no easy matter to
get up again, I can tell you."

Hereupon there was a general laugh.

"Talking of Pic-nics," said Mr. Timmis. "reminds me of one that was held
the other day in a meadow, on the banks of the Lea. The party,
consisting of ladies only, and a little boy, had just spread out their
prog on a clean table-cloth, when they were alarmed by the approach of a
cow. They were presently on their pins, (cow'd, of course,) and sheered
off to a respectful distance, while the cow walked leisurely over the
table-cloth, smelling the materials of the feast, and popp'd her cloven
foot plump into a currant and raspberry pie! and they had a precious deal
of trouble to draw her off; for, as Tom Davis said, there were some
veal-patties there, which were, no doubt, made out of one of her calves;
and in her maternal solicitude, she completely demolished the plates and
dishes, leaving the affrighted party nothing more than the broken
victuals."

"What a lark!" exclaimed Mr. Crobble; "I would have given a guinea to
have witnessed the fun. That cow was a trojan!"

"A star in the milky way," cried Mr. Wallis.

We now approached the 'Plough;' and Mr. Crobble having 'satisfied' the
boatman, Mr. Wallis gave me half-a-crown, and bade me make the best of my
way home. I pocketed the money, and resolved to 'go on the highway,' and
trudge on foot.

"Andrew," said my worthy patron, "now don't go and make a beast of
yourself, but walk straight home."

"Andrew," said Mr. Wallis, imitating his friend's tone of admonition; "if
any body asks you to treat 'em, bolt; if any body offers to treat you,
retreat!"

"Andrew," said Mr. Crobble, who was determined to put in his oar, and row
in the same boat as his friends; "Andrew,"--"Y