ted that she should not look till the letter was
done; and, observing his pen travelling the lines in quick succession,
Mrs. Chump became inspired by a great but uneasy hope. She was only to be
restrained from peeping, by Braintop's petulant "Pray, ma'am!" which sent
her bouncing back to her chair, with a face upon one occasion too solemn
for Braintop's gravity. He had written himself into excellent spirits;
and happening to look up as Mrs. Chump retreated from his shoulder, the
woman's comic reverence for his occupation--the prim movement of her lips
while she repeated mutely the words she supposed he might be
penning--touched him to laughter. At once Mrs. Chump seized on the paper.
"Young ladus," she read aloud, "yours of the 2nd, the 14th, and 21st
ulto. The 'ffection I bear to your onnly remaining parent."

Her enunciation waxed slower and significantly staccato toward a pause.
The composition might undoubtedly have issued from a merchant's office,
and would have done no discredit to the establishment. When the pause
came, Braintop, half for an opinion, and to encourage progress, said,
"Yes, ma'am;" and with "There, sir!" Mrs. Chump crumpled up the paper and
flung it at him. "And there, sir!" she tossed a pen. Hearing Braintop
mutter, "Lady-like behaviour," Mrs. Chump came out in a fiery bloom. "Ye
detestable young fella! Oh, ye young deceiver! Ye cann't do the work of a
man! Oh! and here's another woman dis'pointed, and when she thought she'd
got a man to write her letters!"

Braintop rose and retorted.

"Ye're false, Mr. Braintop--ye're offensuv, sir!" said Mrs. Chump; and
Braintop instantly retired upon an expressive bow. When he was out of the
room, Mrs. Chump appealed spitefully to an audience of chairs; but when
she heard the front-door shut with a report, she jumped up in terror,
crying incredulously, "Is the young man pos'tively one? Oh! and me alone
in a rage!--" the contemplated horrors of which position set her shouting
vociferously. "Mr. Braintop!" sounded over the stairs, and "Mr.
Braintop!" into the street. The maid brought Mrs. Chump her bonnet. Night
had fallen; and nothing but the greatest anxiety to recover Braintop
would have tempted her from her house. She made half-a-dozen steps, and
then stopped to mutter, "Oh! if ye'd onnly come, I'd forgive ye--indeed I
would!"

"Well, here I am," was instantaneously answered; her waist was clasped,
and her forehead was kissed.

The madness of Braintop's