e
other poisonous additions, they command us to take in at the orifice
above or below (just as the physician then happens to be disposed) a
medicine equally annoying and disgustful to the bowels; which, relaxing
the belly, drives down all before it; and this they call a purge, or a
clyster. For nature (as the physicians allege) having intended the
superior anterior orifice only for the intromission of solids and
liquids, and the inferior posterior for ejection, these artists
ingeniously considering that in all diseases nature is forced out of her
seat, therefore, to replace her in it, the body must be treated in a
manner directly contrary, by interchanging the use of each orifice;
forcing solids and liquids in at the anus, and making evacuations at the
mouth.

"But, besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only
imaginary, for which the physicians have invented imaginary cures; these
have their several names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them;
and with these our female _Yahoos_ are always infested.

"One great excellency in this tribe, is their skill at prognostics,
wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they
rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is
always in their power, when recovery is not: and therefore, upon any
unexpected signs of amendment, after they have pronounced their sentence,
rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to approve their
sagacity to the world, by a seasonable dose.

"They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown
weary of their mates; to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, and
often to princes."

I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the nature
of government in general, and particularly of our own excellent
constitution, deservedly the wonder and envy of the whole world. But
having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me,
some time after, to inform him, "what species of _Yahoo_ I particularly
meant by that appellation."

I told him, "that a first or chief minister of state, who was the person
I intended to describe, was the creature wholly exempt from joy and
grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least, makes use of no other
passions, but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles; that he
applies his words to all uses, except to the indication of his mind; that
he never tells a truth but with an intent tha