ankind!" yelled a corkscrew.

"What do you know about it?" inquired the King.

"I'm a lawyer," said the corkscrew, proudly. "I am accustomed to
appear at the bar."

"But you're crooked," retorted the King, "and that debars you. You may
be a corking good lawyer, Mr. Popp, but I must ask you to withdraw your
remarks."

"Very well," said the corkscrew, sadly; "I see I haven't any pull at
this court."

"Permit me," continued the flatiron, "to press my suit, your Majesty.
I do not wish to gloss over any fault the prisoner may have committed,
if such a fault exists; but we owe her some consideration, and that's
flat!"

"I'd like to hear from Prince Karver," said the King.

At this a stately carvingknife stepped forward and bowed.

"The Captain was wrong to bring this girl here, and she was wrong to
come," he said. "But now that the foolish deed is done let us all
prove our mettle and have a slashing good time."

"That's it! that's it!" screamed a fat choppingknife. "We'll make
mincemeat of the girl and hash of the chicken and sausage of the dog!"

There was a shout of approval at this and the King had to rap again for
order.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen!" he said, "your remarks are somewhat cutting and
rather disjointed, as might be expected from such acute intellects.
But you give me no reasons for your demands."

"See here, Kleaver; you make me tired," said a saucepan, strutting
before the King very impudently. "You're about the worst King that
ever reigned in Utensia, and that's saying a good deal. Why don't you
run things yourself, instead of asking everybody's advice, like the
big, clumsy idiot you are?"

The King sighed.

"I wish there wasn't a saucepan in my kingdom," he said. "You fellows
are always stewing, over something, and every once in a while you slop
over and make a mess of it. Go hang yourself, sir--by the handle--and
don't let me hear from you again."

Dorothy was much shocked by the dreadful language the utensils
employed, and she thought that they must have had very little proper
training. So she said, addressing the King, who seemed very unfit to
rule his turbulent subjects:

"I wish you'd decide my fate right away. I can't stay here all day,
trying to find out what you're going to do with me."

"This thing is becoming a regular broil, and it's time I took part in
it," observed a big gridiron, coming forward.

"What I'd like to know," said a can-opener, in a shrill voice, "is w