Grand Duke has gone beyond the reach of the mails."

"Goodness gracious!" says I; "but no matter about that, if he hasn't got
out of the reach of the females."

"But he has."

My heart sank in my bosom like a soggy apple-dumpling.

"What--all females?" says I. "Won't that reach him, anyway? it is
important--very. Great destinies depend upon it."

"I can put it in," says he; "but ten chances to one it will get into the
dead-letter office."

My heart grew heavier and heavier, but what could I do?

"Put it in," says I; "live or die, it must go!"

He took my valentine and pitched it off into a heap of letters, just as
if it had been a dead leaf. It fairly made me faint to see it handled
so; but the fellow turned his back on me, and I went away heart-sick.

One comfort I had in all this--if my valentine could not reach him, that
of no other female could; and my offer is sure to be first, though I
shouldn't wonder if that girl who sent him her card tied round a canary
bird's neck might try. She's forward enough, anyway.

Then, there is another comfort--Valentine's Day don't cover the whole
Leap Year, and there are other men than the great Grand Duke in the
world. We females have a whole twelvemonths to try our luck in. Of
course any of us would aim high the first months; but after that, the
game will grow smaller and wilder, as a general thing, and our chances
less.

For my part, I mean to be up and doing. One disappointment isn't going
to break my heart; I've had too many for that; but if human energy and
human genius can avail anything against an adverse destiny, my signature
will be changed before this year closes.

XXXI.

A MAN THAT WOULDN'T TAKE MONEY.

Cousin Dempster is real good to me; no mistake about that. A day or two
ago, he says to his wife, says he:

"Supposing we take Cousin Phoemie down to an oyster lunch at Fulton
Market. That is one of the lions of the city."

I fairly hopped up from my chair when he said this, just as cool and
easy as if he had been talking of rabbits lapping milk. What on earth
had I to do with city lions, and such animals? Wild beasts like these
are in no part of my mission, now are they?

Cousin E. E. saw the scare in my eyes, and smiled.

"I know it seems strange to people from outside," says she; "and it
really is a dirty place; but somehow ladies and gentlemen have made it
the rage."

"Do the creatures rage fiercely?" says I.

Cousin E. E. looked puzz