ion, as appears
among other arguments, by this more especially; in that among their
several topics of completing the art of oratory, they all particularly
insist upon the knack of jesting, which is one species of folly; as is
evident from the books of oratory wrote to Herennius, put among Cicero's
work, but done by some other unknown author; and in Quintilian,
that great master of eloquence, there is one large chapter spent in
prescribing the methods of raising laughter: in short, they may well
attribute a great efficacy to folly, since on any argument they can many
times by a slight laugh over what they could never seriously confute.

Of the same gang are those scribbling fops, who think to eternize their
memory by setting up for authors: among which, though they are all some
way indebted to me, yet are those more especially so, who spoil paper in
blotting it with mere trifles and impertinences. For as to those graver
drudgers to the press, that write learnedly, beyond the reach of an
ordinary reader, who durst submit their labours to the review of the
most severe critic, these are not so liable to be envied for their
honour, as to be pitied for their sweat and slavery. They make
additions, alterations, blot out, write anew, amend, interline, turn it
upside down, and yet can never please their fickle judgment, but that
they shall dislike the next hour what they penned the former; and all
this to purchase the airy commendations of a few understanding readers,
which at most is but a poor reward for all their fastings, watchings,
confinements, and brain-breaking tortures of invention. Add to this
the impairing of their health, the weakening of their constitution,
their contracting sore eyes, or perhaps turning stark blind; their
poverty, their envy, their debarment from all pleasures, their hastening
on old age, their untimely death, and what other inconveniences of a
like or worse nature can be thought upon: and yet the recompense for all
this severe penance is at best no more than a mouthful or two of frothy
praise. These, as they are more laborious, so are they less happy than
those other hackney scribblers which I first mentioned, who never stand
much to consider, but write what comes next at a venture, knowing that
the more silly their composures are, the more they will be bought up by
the greater number of readers, who are fools and blockheads: and if they
hap to be condemned by some few judicious persons, it is an e