with long ago! Not of course that I should have cared to take
part in it _now_!"

"Well, my boy," said Mr. Stimpson as Clarence ran through the columns of
the paper, "and what's the latest news?"

"First defeat of Middlesex," replied Clarence; "Surrey's at the head of
the table now for the Championship! Fine batting by Gloucester at
Nottingham yesterday--319 to Notts 299 first innings, and 75 for three
wickets!"

"Capital!" said his father without enthusiasm, "and what about Politics?
Got Home Rule yet?"

"I'll tell you in a minute.... Looks as if they hadn't. Breakdown of
Home Rule Conference at Buckingham Palace. Wonder what the Government
will do _now_."

"They've only to be firm," said Mr. Stimpson, in his character as
ex-autocrat. "If Ulster chooses to resent the will of the People as
expressed in the last General Election, well, she must be put down, or
what's our Army _for_, I should like to know. Any other news?"

"Nothing much, except that Austria's just sent an ultimatum to Servia.
Seems the Austrian Grand Duke's been assassinated, and Austria believes
the Servians were in it. Anyhow, they've got to knuckle down by six
o'clock to-night or they'll be jolly well walloped. But of course
they'll give in when they're up against Austria.... I see these writing
chaps are doing their best to work up a scare, though. Here's one of 'em
actually saying it may 'plunge all Europe into War.' Good old Armageddon
coming off at last, I suppose. How they can write such tommy-rot!"

"It's only to send up their circulation," said Mr. Wibberley-Stimpson.
"Depend upon it, there'll be no War. None of the Powers want it--too
expensive in these days. They'll see that it's settled without fighting.
And even if they can't, _we_ shan't be dragged in--we shall just let 'em
fight it out among themselves, and when it's over we shall come in for a
share of the pickings!"

"Well," said Clarence, as he crumpled the paper into a ball and tossed
it away, "we needn't worry ourselves about Armageddon--got something
more serious to think about."

"What do you mean, Clarence?" inquired his mother uneasily.

"Why," he said, "it seems we've been away about four months. We can
explain now why Miss Heritage hasn't come back with us. She's made that
all right by her letter--and a trump she was to think of it! But what
are we going to say when people want to know--and you can bet they
_will_--where we've been all this time and what we've been