place,
nice board floor, two pleasant windows, and comfortable bed, for this
wretched place? Upon my word, I am very much disappointed. However, I
do not care so much for myself as for poor Mrs. ----, whom I persuaded
to come with me."

"What! is there _another_ lady?" almost shrieked (and well she might,
under the circumstances) the horror-stricken hostess. "You can sleep
with me, but I am sure I do not know what we can do with another one."

"Certainly," was the bold reply of Mrs. ----, for she was too much
provoked to be embarrassed in the least. "Availing myself of your
husband's kind permission, I invited Mrs. ----, who could not procure
lodgings at either of the hotels, to accompany me. But even if I were
alone I should decidedly object to sleep with a sick person, and should
infinitely prefer wrapping myself in my shawl and lying on the ground
to being guilty of such a piece of selfishness."

"Well," groaned the poor woman, "Jonathan" (or Ichabod, or David, or
whatever was the domestic name of her better half), "I suppose that you
must make up some kind of a bed for them on the ground."

Now, M., only fancy my hearing all this! _Wasn't_ it a fix for a
sensitive person to be in? But, instead of bursting into tears and
making myself miserable, as once I should have done, I enjoyed the
contretemps immensely. It almost cured my headache, and when Mrs. ----
came to me and tried to soften matters, I told her to spare her pretty
speeches, as I had heard the whole and would not have missed it for
anything.

In the mean time the useful little man, combining in his small person
the four functions of husband, cook, nurse, and gentleman, made us a
cup of tea and some saleratus biscuit, and though I detest saleratus
biscuit, and was longing for some of the beef, yet, by killing the
taste of the alkali with onions, we contrived to satisfy our hunger,
and the tea warmed us a little. Our host, in his capacity of
chambermaid, had prepared us a couch. I was ushered into the presence
of the fair invalid, to whom I made a polite apology for my intrusion.
My feet sank nearly to the ankles in the dirt and small stones as I
walked across her room.

But how shall I describe to you the sufferings of that dreadful night?
I have slept on tables, on doors, and on trunks. I have reclined on
couches, on chairs, and on the floor. I have lain on beds of straw, of
corn-husks, of palm-leaf, and of ox-hide. I remember one awful night
spent