and is afraid that in speaking too quickly she may
speak untruly. It is the desire to be honest which forbids her to
continue in the course she had chosen before this new phase of her life
began, or to come to any new decision involving immediate action,
especially immediate marriage.

Herein lies the great danger to a young girl who has promised to marry a
man before she has seen anything of the world, and who suddenly begins
to see a great deal of the world before the marriage actually takes
place. She is just enough attached to the man to feel that she loves
him, but the bonds are not yet so close as to make her know that his
love is altogether the dominating influence of her life. Unless this
same man whom she has chosen stands out as conspicuously in the new
world she has entered as in the quiet home she has left, there is great
danger that he may fall in her estimation; and in those early stages of
love, estimation is a terribly important element. By estimation I do not
mean esteem. There is a subtle difference between the two; for though
our estimation may be high or low, our esteem is generally high. When a
young girl is old enough to be at home in society, she sets a value on
every man, and perhaps on every woman, whom she meets. They take their
places in the scale she forms, and their places are not easily changed.
Among them the man she has previously promised to marry almost
inevitably finds his rank, and she is fortunate if he is among the
highest; for if he is not, she will not fail to regret that he does not
possess some quality or qualities which she supposes to exist in those
men whom she ranks first among her acquaintance. Where criticism begins,
sympathy very often ends, and with it love. Then, if she is honest, a
woman owns that she has made a mistake, and refuses to abide by her
engagement, because she feels that she cannot make the man happy. Or if
her ideas of faith forbid her from doing this, she marries him in spite
of her convictions, and generally makes him miserable for the rest of
his days. When a girl throws a man over, as the phrase goes, the world
sets up a howl, and vows that she has treated him very badly; but it
always seems to me that by a single act of courage she has freed herself
and the man who loves her from the fearful consequences of a marriage
where all the love would have been on one side, and all the criticism on
the other. It is not always a girl's own fault when she does n