things with which he
had previously won my heart, but not with the old fire and not with the
old effect upon me. Yet my love had not grown cold, it had only changed
from the unthinking stage to the thinking one, and I was quite in
earnest when I said: 'I know I am not as pretty or as nice as the ladies
you are accustomed to. But I have a heart that has never known any other
passion than its love for you, and from such a heart you ought to expect
a lady to grow, and there will. Only give me the chance, John; only let
me learn to read and write.'

"But he was in an incredulous state of mind, and it ended in his going
away without making any arrangements for my education. He was bound for
San Francisco, where he had business to transact, and he promised to be
back in four weeks, but before the four weeks elapsed, he wrote me that
it would be five, and later on that it would be six, and afterwards that
it would be when he had finished a big piece of work he was engaged
upon, and which would bring him a large amount of money. I believed him
and I doubted him at the same time, but I was not altogether sorry he
delayed his return for I had begun school on my own account and was fast
laying the foundation of a solid education.

"My means came from my father, who, now it was too late, saw the
necessity of my improving myself. The amount of studying I did that
first year was amazing, but it was nothing to what I went through the
second, for my husband's letters had begun to fail me, and I was forced
to work in order to drown grief and keep myself from despair. Finally no
letters came at all, and when the second year was over, and I could at
least express myself correctly, I woke to the realization that, so far
as my husband was concerned, I had gone through all this labor for
nothing, and that unless by some fortunate chance I could light upon
some clue to his whereabouts in the great world beyond our little town,
I would be likely to pass the remainder of my days in widowhood and
desolation.

"My father dying at this time and leaving me a thousand dollars, I knew
no better way of spending it than in the hopeless search I have just
mentioned. Accordingly after his burial I started out on my travels,
gaining experience with every mile. I had not been away a week before I
realized what a folly I had indulged in in ever hoping to see John
Randolph back at my side. I saw the homes in which such men as he lived,
and met in cars and