ral
death (I thought otherwise); and his last reason was more singular than
either of the others: he had seen a picture in a church in Spain, of
Peter's vision of the animals let down in the sheet, and there was a cat
among them. Observing an alarm of scepticism in my eye, he thought
proper to confirm his assertion with an oath.

"Might it not have been a rabbit?" said I.

"Rabbit, sir! damn me, think I didn't know a cat from a rabbit? Why one
has got short ears and long tail, and t'other has got _wicce wercee_, as
we calls it."

A grand carnival masquerade was to be given at Minorca, in honour of the
English, and the place chosen for the exhibition was a church; all which
was perfectly consistent with the Romish faith. I went in the character
of a fool, and met many brother officers there. It was a comical sight
to see the anomalous groups stared at by the pictures of the Virgin Mary
and all the saints, whose shrines were lit up for the occasion with wax
tapers. The admiral, rear-admiral, and most of the captains and
officers of the fleet were present; the place was about a mile from the
town.

Having hired a fool's dress, I mounted that very appropriate animal--a
donkey, and set off amidst the shouts of a thousand dirty vagabonds. On
my arrival, I began to show off in summersaults, leaps, and all kinds of
practical jokes. The manner in which I supported the character drew a
little crowd around me. I never spoke to an admiral or captain unless
he addressed me first, and then I generally sold him a bargain. Being
very well acquainted with the domestic economy of the ships on the
station, a martinet asked me if I would enter for his ship.

"No," said I, "you would give me three-dozen for not lashing up my
hammock properly."

"Come with me," said another.

"No," said I; "your bell-rope is too short--you cannot reach it to order
another bottle of wine before all the officers have left your table."

Another promised me kind treatment and plenty of wine.

"No," said I, "in your ship I should be coals at Newcastle; besides,
your coffee is too weak, your steward only puts one ounce into six
cups."

These hits afforded a good deal of mirth among the crowd, and even the
admiral himself honoured me with a smile. I bowed respectfully to his
lordship, who merely said--

"What do you want of me, fool?"

"Oh, nothing at all my lord," said I; "I have only a small favour to ask
of you."

"What is that?" said