ul
of fragrant fir-balsam, and bending groaningly forward in his chair
sifted the brittle, pungent needles into the face of the one glowing
ember that survived. Instantly in a single dazzling flash of flame the
tangible forest symbol vanished in intangible fragrance. But along the
hollow of his hand,--across the edge of his sleeve,--up from the
ragged pile of books and papers,--out from the farthest, remotest
corners of the room, lurked the unutterable, undestroyable sweetness
of all forests since the world was made.
Almost with a sob in his throat Stanton turned again to the box of
letters on his table.
By dawn the feverish, excited sleeplessness in his brain had driven
him on and on to one last, supremely fantastic impulse. Writing to
Cornelia he told her bluntly, frankly,
"DEAR CORNELIA:
"When I asked you to marry me, you made me promise very
solemnly at the time that if I ever changed my mind
regarding you I would surely tell you. And I laughed at you.
Do you remember? But you were right, it seems, and I was
wrong. For I believe that I have changed my mind. That
is:--I don't know how to express it exactly, but it has been
made very, very plain to me lately that I do not by any
manner of means love you as little as you need to be loved.
"In all sincerity,
"CARL."
To which surprising communication Cornelia answered immediately; but
the 'immediately' involved a week's almost maddening interim,
"DEAR CARL:
"Neither mother nor I can make any sense whatsoever out of
your note. By any possible chance was it meant to be a joke?
You say you do not love me 'as little' as I need to be
loved. You mean 'as much', don't you? Carl, what do you
mean?"
Laboriously, with the full prospect of yet another week's agonizing
strain and suspense, Stanton wrote again to Cornelia.
"DEAR CORNELIA:
"No, I meant 'as little' as you need to be loved. I have no
adequate explanation to make. I have no adequate apology to
offer. I don't think anything. I don't hope anything. All I
know is that I suddenly believe positively that our
engagement is a mistake. Certainly I am neither giving you
all that I am capable of giving you, nor yet receiving from
you all that I am capable of receiving. Just this fact
should decide the matter I think.
"CARL."
Cornelia did not wait to write an answ
|