or points, the audience shouts and wrangles in allotting 'em;
I hate their fancy-work, I'm off to take the train to Nottingham.
I like a Man; though modern men and modern manners mend, I go
To drop a last regretful tear o'er poor departed BENDIGO.

* * * * *

[Illustration: GENTLE SARCASM.

"YESSIR; I GITS 'OME FROM MY LAST JOURNEY AT MIDNIGHT,--AN' THEN I 'AS
THE _REST_ OF THE HEVENIN' TO _MYSELF_!"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, June 1._--House of Commons, as usual
at this time of Session, driven against wall in its struggles with
appointed work. With brief recesses, been at work since November last.
One thing everyone insists on is that Prorogation shall take place
at end of July. Difficult to see how even by most masterly management
that can be accomplished. Apart from Education Bill, enough work in
hand, if Supply be fairly dealt with, to carry us on to last week
in July. Every moment precious; every quarter of an hour lost an
irretrievable misfortune.

Accordingly, to-day, meeting in the freshness and vigour of new week,
House takes up a local Bill dealing with pilotage in Bristol Channel.
Two or three Members talk about it for hour and a half. House neither
knowing nor caring anything on subject, empties; Division bell sounds
through all the rooms and corridors. How is a man to vote when the
question abruptly submitted is, "That the Pilotage Provisional Orders
No. 1 Bill be now read a Second Time?" Still, it's as well to vote, as
it runs up average attendance on Divisions, at which at election times
constituents sometimes glance. Fortunately, in this case, MICHAEL
BEACH, as one of Members for Bristol, took part in Debate and
Division. As useful this as sign-post to belated traveller at four
cross-roads. Conservatives and Liberals crowded at Bar keep their eye
on President of Board of Trade, watching which way he would go. He
led the way into the "Aye" lobby. Thither followed him all the
Conservatives, all the Liberals trooping into the "No" lobby. When
Noses were counted, it was found that 165 voted "Aye," 119 "No." And
thus it came to pass that the Pilotage Provisional Order No. 1 Bill
was read a Second Time.

One gathered from chance expressions, and especially from the interest
taken in the affair by Members for City of Bristol, that Bristol had
special intere