better,
And I am neuer the worse._

A slouenly Charme for sore eies.

The Deuill pull out both thine eies,
And _etish_[*] in the holes likewise.

[Sidenote: spel this word backward and you shall see what a
slouenly charme this is _etish_.]

A Miller that had his eeles stolne by night, made mone to the priest
of the parish, who indeede was the principall of the theeues that
stole the eeles, Sir Iohn willed him to be quiet, for said he I will
to curse the theeues, and their adherents with bell, booke, and
candle, that they shall haue small ioy of their fish, and therefore
the next sonday Sir Iohn gotte him vp to the pulpit with his surplis
on his back, and his Gole about his neck, and pronounced these words
following, in the audience of the people.

All ye that haue stolne the myllers Eeles
_Laudate Dominum in coelis:_
And all they that haue consented therunto
_Benedicamus Domino._

By this little you may plainely perceaue the foppery of the Church of
Rome, who hould such toyes as authenticall, and also there knauery to
make the people beleeue, lies for truth, and falshod for honestie,
Bearing them in hand, as in this, so in all the rest, with blindenes,
and ignorance but hereof ynoughe.

And now to conclude, lett vs backe againe with one pretty knack, which
is held to be meruilous and wonderfull. And that is to make a horse
tell you how much money you haue in your purse: and I reade of a
pretty story of an asse at _Memphis_ in Egypt, that could do rare
feates, among other Iuggling knackes, there and then vsed: there was
one that tooke paynes with an asse, that he had taught him, all these
quallities following, and for game he caused a stage to be made, and
an assembly of people to meete, which being downe in the manner of a
play, he came in with his asse, and sayde: The _Sultan_ hath great
neede of asses, to helpe to carry stones, and other stuffe towards his
great building which he hath in hande: the asse immediately fell downe
to the ground, and by all signes shewed himself to be sick, and at
length to giue vp the ghost, so as the Iuggler begged of the assembly
money towards his asse, and hauing gotten all that he could, he saide,
now my masters you shall see mine asse is yet aliue, and doth but
counterfeit, because he would haue some money to buy him prouender,
knowing that I was poore and in some neede of reliefe: heere vpon he
would needes lay