ange your life and
do penance; you must burn everything belonging to your past errors--your
books, your papers, your manuscripts. Make this sacrifice, master, I
entreat it of you on my knees. And you will see the delightful existence
we shall lead together."
At last he rebelled.
"No, this is too much. Be silent!"
"If you listen to me, master, you will do what I wish. I assure you
that I am horribly unhappy, even in loving you as I love you. There
is something wanting in our affection. So far it has been profound but
unavailing, and I have an irresistible longing to fill it, oh, with all
that is divine and eternal. What can be wanting to us but God? Kneel
down and pray with me!"
With an abrupt movement he released himself, angry in his turn.
"Be silent; you are talking nonsense. I have left you free, leave me
free."
"Master, master! it is our happiness that I desire! I will take you far,
far away. We will go to some solitude to live there in God!"
"Be silent! No, never!"
Then they remained for a moment confronting each other, mute and
menacing. Around them stretched La Souleiade in the deep silence of the
night, with the light shadows of its olive trees, the darkness of its
pine and plane trees, in which the saddened voice of the fountain was
singing, and above their heads it seemed as if the spacious sky, studded
with stars, shuddered and grew pale, although the dawn was still far
off.
Clotilde raised her arm as if to point to this infinite, shuddering sky;
but with a quick gesture Pascal seized her hand and drew it down toward
the earth in his. And no word further was spoken; they were beside
themselves with rage and hate. The quarrel was fierce and bitter.
She drew her hand away abruptly, and sprang backward, like some proud,
untamable animal, rearing; then she rushed quickly through the darkness
toward the house. He heard the patter of her little boots on the stones
of the yard, deadened afterward by the sand of the walk. He, on his
side, already grieved and uneasy, called her back in urgent tones. But
she ran on without answering, without hearing. Alarmed, and with a heavy
heart, he hurried after her, and rounded the clump of plane trees just
in time to see her rush into the house like a whirlwind. He darted in
after her, ran up the stairs, and struck against the door of her room,
which she violently bolted. And here he stopped and grew calm, by a
strong effort resisting the desire to cry out,
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