eration
she decided to give herself up as soon as day dawned and then kill
herself afterwards--anything, rather than enditre such tortures! But
the dawn brought new hope and she would not go to church or even
leave the house. She was afraid she would yield.
So passed several days in praying and cursing, in calling upon God
and wishing for death. The day gave her a slight respite and she
trusted in some miracle. The reports that came from Manila, although
they reached there magnified, said that of the prisoners some had
secured their liberty, thanks to patrons and influence. Some one
had to be sacrificed--who would it be? Juli shuddered and returned
home biting her finger-nails. Then came the night with its terrors,
which took on double proportions and seemed to be converted into
realities. Juli feared to fall asleep, for her slumbers were a
continuous nightmare. Looks of reproach would flash across her eyelids
just as soon as they were closed, complaints and laments pierced
her ears. She saw her father wandering about hungry, without rest or
repose; she saw Basilio dying in the road, pierced by two bullets,
just as she had seen the corpse of that neighbor who had been killed
while in the charge of the Civil Guard. She saw the bonds that cut
into the flesh, she saw the blood pouring from the mouth, she heard
Basilio calling to her, "Save me! Save me! You alone can save me!" Then
a burst of laughter would resound and she would turn her eyes to see
her father gazing at her with eyes full of reproach. Juli would wake
up, sit up on her _petate_, and draw her hands across her forehead
to arrange her hair--cold sweat, like the sweat of death, moistened it!
"Mother, mother!" she sobbed.
Meanwhile, they who were so carelessly disposing of people's fates,
he who commanded the legal murders, he who violated justice and made
use of the law to maintain himself by force, slept in peace.
At last a traveler arrived from Manila and reported that all
the prisoners had been set free, all except Basilio, who had no
protector. It was reported in Manila, added the traveler, that the
young man would be deported to the Carolines, having been forced to
sign a petition beforehand, in which he declared that he asked it
voluntarily. [67] The traveler had seen the very steamer that was
going to take him away.
This report put an end to all the girl's hesitation. Besides, her mind
was already quite weak from so many nights of watching and
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