frighten none but a
retail philanthropist. What is it but eight hundred millions for each of
fourteen years? Now eight hundred millions--what is that, to average it,
but one little dollar a head for the population of the planet? And who
will refuse, what Turk or Dyak even, his own little dollar for sweet
charity's sake? Eight hundred millions! More than that sum is yearly
expended by mankind, not only in vanities, but miseries. Consider that
bloody spendthrift, War. And are mankind so stupid, so wicked, that,
upon the demonstration of these things they will not, amending their
ways, devote their superfluities to blessing the world instead of
cursing it? Eight hundred millions! They have not to make it, it is
theirs already; they have but to direct it from ill to good. And to
this, scarce a self-denial is demanded. Actually, they would not in the
mass be one farthing the poorer for it; as certainly would they be all
the better and happier. Don't you see? But admit, as you must, that
mankind is not mad, and my project is practicable. For, what creature
but a madman would not rather do good than ill, when it is plain that,
good or ill, it must return upon himself?"

"Your sort of reasoning," said the good gentleman, adjusting his gold
sleeve-buttons, "seems all reasonable enough, but with mankind it wont
do."

"Then mankind are not reasoning beings, if reason wont do with them."

"That is not to the purpose. By-the-way, from the manner in which you
alluded to the world's census, it would appear that, according to your
world-wide scheme, the pauper not less than the nabob is to contribute
to the relief of pauperism, and the heathen not less than the Christian
to the conversion of heathenism. How is that?"

"Why, that--pardon me--is quibbling. Now, no philanthropist likes to be
opposed with quibbling."

"Well, I won't quibble any more. But, after all, if I understand your
project, there is little specially new in it, further than the
magnifying of means now in operation."

"Magnifying and energizing. For one thing, missions I would thoroughly
reform. Missions I would quicken with the Wall street spirit."

"The Wall street spirit?"

"Yes; for if, confessedly, certain spiritual ends are to be gained but
through the auxiliary agency of worldly means, then, to the surer
gaining of such spiritual ends, the example of worldly policy in worldly
projects should not by spiritual projectors be slighted. In brief, the
conver