e?"

"Respected sir, our office----"

"You talk much of that office. Where is it? On board this boat?"

"Oh no, sir, I just came aboard. Our office----"

"Came aboard at that last landing, eh? Pray, do you know a herb-doctor
there? Smooth scamp in a snuff-colored surtout?"

"Oh, sir, I was but a sojourner at Cape Giradeau. Though, now that you
mention a snuff-colored surtout, I think I met such a man as you speak
of stepping ashore as I stepped aboard, and 'pears to me I have seen him
somewhere before. Looks like a very mild Christian sort of person, I
should say. Do you know him, respected sir?"

"Not much, but better than you seem to. Proceed with your business."

With a low, shabby bow, as grateful for the permission, the other began:
"Our office----"

"Look you," broke in the bachelor with ire, "have you the spinal
complaint? What are you ducking and groveling about? Keep still. Where's
your office?"

"The branch one which I represent, is at Alton, sir, in the free state
we now pass," (pointing somewhat proudly ashore).

"Free, eh? You a freeman, you flatter yourself? With those coat-tails
and that spinal complaint of servility? Free? Just cast up in your
private mind who is your master, will you?"

"Oh, oh, oh! I don't understand--indeed--indeed. But, respected sir, as
before said, our office, founded on principles wholly new----"

"To the devil with your principles! Bad sign when a man begins to talk
of his principles. Hold, come back, sir; back here, back, sir, back! I
tell you no more boys for me. Nay, I'm a Mede and Persian. In my old
home in the woods I'm pestered enough with squirrels, weasels,
chipmunks, skunks. I want no more wild vermin to spoil my temper and
waste my substance. Don't talk of boys; enough of your boys; a plague of
your boys; chilblains on your boys! As for Intelligence Offices, I've
lived in the East, and know 'em. Swindling concerns kept by low-born
cynics, under a fawning exterior wreaking their cynic malice upon
mankind. You are a fair specimen of 'em."

"Oh dear, dear, dear!"

"Dear? Yes, a thrice dear purchase one of your boys would be to me. A
rot on your boys!"

"But, respected sir, if you will not have boys, might we not, in our
small way, accommodate you with a man?"

"Accommodate? Pray, no doubt you could accommodate me with a
bosom-friend too, couldn't you? Accommodate! Obliging word accommodate:
there's accommodation notes now, where one accommodates another