am willing to attach myself to you, to
take you under my protection, and guard you from all the evils
that your stars may threaten."

When I heard all this jargon, I could not forbear laughing,
notwithstanding my anger. "You impertinent prattler!" said I,
"will you have done, and begin to shave me?"

"Sir," replied the barber, "you affront me in calling me a
prattler; on the contrary, all the world gives me the honourable
title of Silent. I had six brothers, whom you might justly have
called prattlers. These indeed were impertinent chatterers, but
for me, who am a younger brother, I am grave and concise in my
discourse."

For God's sake, gentlemen, do but suppose you had been in my
place. What could I say when I saw myself so cruelly delayed?
"Give him three pieces of gold," said I to the slave who was my
housekeeper, "and send him away, that he may disturb me no more;
I will not be shaved this day." "Sir," said the barber, "pray
what do you mean? I did not come to seek for you, you sent for
me; and as that is the case I swear by the faith of a Moosulmaun,
I will not stir out of these doors till I have shaved you. If you
do not know my value, it is not my fault. Your deceased father
did me more justice. Every time he sent for me to let him blood,
he made me sit down by him, and was charmed with hearing what
witty things I said. I kept him in a continual strain of
admiration; I elevated him; and when I had finished my discourse,
'My God,' he would exclaim, 'you are an inexhaustible source of
science, no man can reach the depth of your knowledge.' 'My dear
sir,' I would answer, 'you do me more honour than deserve. If I
say anything that is worth hearing, it is owing to the favourable
audience you vouchsafe me; it is your liberality that inspires me
with the sublime thoughts which have the happiness to please
you.' One day, when he was charmed with an admirable discourse I
had made him, he said, 'Give him a hundred pieces of gold, and
invest him with one of my richest robes.' I instantly received
the present. I then drew his horoscope, and found it the happiest
in the world. Nay I carried my gratitude further; I let him
blood with cupping-glasses."

This was not all; he spun out another harangue that was a full
half hour long. Tired with hearing him, and fretted at the loss
of time, which was almost spent before I was half ready, I did
not know what to say. "It is impossible," I exclaimed, "there
should be such ano