d have her guest be to her; not that her guest's
tastes are necessarily her own, but that she knows how to find out what
they are and how to satisfy them.

It is often difficult to love our neighbor as ourselves because we do
not know how to love ourselves. We are selfish, or stupid, or
aggressive with ourselves, or try too hard for what is right and good,
instead of trusting with inner confidence and reverence to a power that
is above us.

Over-thoughtfulness for others, in little things or great, is
oppressive, and as much an enemy to peace, as the lack of any
thoughtfulness at all. It is like too much attention to the baby, and
comes from the same kind of selfish affection, with--frequently the
added motive of wanting to appear disinterested.

One might give pages of examples showing the right and the wrong way in
all the varied relations of life, but they would all show that the
right way comes from obedience to the law of unselfishness. To obey
this law we must respect our neighbor's rights as we respect our own;
we must gain and keep the clear and quiet atmosphere that we like to
find about our friend; we must shun everything that would interfere
with a loving kindliness toward him, as we would have him show the same
kindliness toward us. We must know that we and our friends are one, and
that, unless a relation is a mutual benefit, it is no true relation at
all. But, first of all, we must remember that a true appreciation of
the wonderful power of this law comes only with daily, patient working,
and waiting for the growth it brings.

In so far as we are truly the friend of one, whether he be baby, child,
or grown man,--shall we be truly the friend of all; in so far as we are
truly the friend of all, shall we be truly the friend of every one;
and, as we find the living peace of this principle, and a greater
freedom from selfishness,--whether of affection or dislike,--those who
truly belong to us will gravitate to our sides, and we shall gravitate
to theirs. Each one of us will understand his own relation to the
rest,--whether remote or close,--for in that quiet light it will be
seen to rest on intelligible law, which only the fog and confusion of
selfishness concealed.

XIX.

THE USE OF THE WILL

IT is not generally recognized that the will can be trained, little by
little, by as steadily normal a process as the training of a muscle,
and that such training must be through regular daily exercise, an