ted Spain for
his country, and had intimated a design to spend his days there, yet now
was an inhabitant of this district, and disguised by the habiliments of
a clown! What could have obliterated the impressions of his youth, and
made him abjure his religion and his country? What subsequent events had
introduced so total a change in his plans? In withdrawing from Spain,
had he reverted to the religion of his ancestors; or was it true, that
his former conversion was deceitful, and that his conduct had been
swayed by motives which it was prudent to conceal?

Hours were consumed in revolving these ideas. My meditations were
intense; and, when the series was broken, I began to reflect with
astonishment on my situation. From the death of my parents, till the
commencement of this year, my life had been serene and blissful, beyond
the ordinary portion of humanity; but, now, my bosom was corroded by
anxiety. I was visited by dread of unknown dangers, and the future was
a scene over which clouds rolled, and thunders muttered. I compared the
cause with the effect, and they seemed disproportioned to each other.
All unaware, and in a manner which I had no power to explain, I was
pushed from my immoveable and lofty station, and cast upon a sea of
troubles.

I determined to be my brother's visitant on this evening, yet my
resolves were not unattended with wavering and reluctance. Pleyel's
insinuations that I was in love, affected, in no degree, my belief, yet
the consciousness that this was the opinion of one who would, probably,
be present at our introduction to each other, would excite all that
confusion which the passion itself is apt to produce. This would confirm
him in his error, and call forth new railleries. His mirth, when exerted
upon this topic, was the source of the bitterest vexation. Had he been
aware of its influence upon my happiness, his temper would not have
allowed him to persist; but this influence, it was my chief endeavour
to conceal. That the belief of my having bestowed my heart upon another,
produced in my friend none but ludicrous sensations, was the true cause
of my distress; but if this had been discovered by him, my distress
would have been unspeakably aggravated.

Chapter VIII

As soon as evening arrived, I performed my visit. Carwin made one of the
company, into which I was ushered. Appearances were the same as when I
before beheld him. His garb was equally negligent and rustic. I gazed
upon