t
the grant from the Government for a new pier."

"About what?" said Lord Alfred.

"About a grant for a new pier," said Dr. O'Grady, speaking distinctly.

"But I've no authority. I can't."

"L500 will satisfy us," said Dr. O'Grady. "It's a mere trifle. After the
shabby way the Lord-Lieutenant has behaved to us--but go on, anyway."

"I have much pleasure," said Lord Alfred Blakeney, "in declaring this
statue--er--open--er--for public inspection."

The crowd cheered loudly. Dr. O'Grady whispered to Lord Alfred that he
ought to say something about the value of the statue as a work of art.
But this time Lord Alfred's will was stronger than the doctor's. He
jumped off the pedestal and flatly declined to mount it again. He was
crimson in the face with mortification and embarrassment. Then, when
the cheering subsided a little, Mr. Billing's voice was heard, clear
and incisive. He had pushed his way from the door of the hotel and was
standing near the statue.

"That's a darned poor speech," he said.

It is extraordinary how close the primitive barbarian is to the most
civilised man. No one could have been more carefully trained than Lord
Alfred Blakeney. No one possessed more of that suave self-control which
distinguishes a man of the governing classes from the members of the
mob. Yet Lord Alfred collapsed suddenly under the strain to which he had
been subjected. Mr. Billing's taunt threw him back to an earlier, a very
early stage of development.

"Make a better one yourself, then," he said, "whoever you are."

"I'll make one that'll create a sensation, anyhow," said Mr. Billing.

He stepped jauntily up the two steps of the pedestal.

"Mr. Lord-Lieutenant, Right Reverend Sir, Ladies and Gentlemen," he
said.

Lord Alfred Blakeney clutched Dr. O'Grady by the arm.

"I'm not the Lord-Lieutenant," he said desperately.

"I'm not even his representative. Do try to make him understand that."

"It doesn't in the least matter who you are," said Dr. O'Grady. "Listen
to the speech."

"When I first set eyes on this town a month ago I thought I had bumped
up against a most dead-alive, god-forsaken, one-horse settlement that
Europe could boast."

The crowd, being as Gallagher always asserted intensely patriotic, was
not at all pleased at this beginning. Several people groaned loudly.
Mr. Billing listened to them with a bland smile. The people were still
further irritated and began to boo. Thady Gallagher broke suddenly f