d the children to bed:

A cleanly sober wench to look after the children's linen, and do other
occasional work: Enquire of Mr. Twitch, broom-maker, in Kent-street.

By properly publishing advertisements like this, you will seldom fail
of attracting the attention of the publick.

But you may want none of these servants. You have an easy redress. Ask
the mathematician if he understands English, the abecedarian if he
understands mathematics; upon these conditions promise them each ten
pounds a year, (board, lodging, and washing) with eighteen-penny
perquisites, and you are acquitted with credit; as to the wench, if she
comes bare-foot, almost before the news-paper appears, rebuffs of this
kind are so common, that you may say, without suspicion, you are
engaged.

SECT. 5. If you are at any time desirous of enlarging your terms,
expostulate plentifully on your intended improvements, and the large
stipends your assistants require. Your expences are extremely great,
and the business above measure fatiguing; you have been long accustomed
to children, and are fond of seeing them about you; and indeed
otherwise the business would be insupportable.

CHAP. II.

DIET.

Among the first articles enquired after, both by parents and children,
are those of the table. You cannot therefore be too early instructed in
the desirable art of giving all reasonable satisfaction in this matter,
at the least possible expence.

SECT. 1. Remember then always, to see the fruit-basket amongst your
boys before dinner. Fruit is least prejudicial to an empty stomach; and
if the children will indulge themselves with biscuit and gingerbread,
who can help it.

SECT. 2. If your number of boys or their allowances deserve not a
fruit-woman's attendance, your wife may properly enough engage in the
office; it will prevent the boys from being cheated, and be a proof of
her humility.

The use of some neighbouring tavern may also be permitted with caution;
it is an indulgence which will not fail to conciliate the affection of
your leading boys.

SECT. 3. If there be no considerable parish work-house near you, it
will be your interest to secure the stale loaves and neck-beef; the
former is excellent in boiled milk or plumb-pudding, the latter in
boulli for a Saturday's dinner. The butchers and bakers you must
remember have been time immemorial the best academy-ticks.

SECT. 4. The worse your fresh joints are dressed the better for you;
the bo