saving the country. Up in the United States Senate I used
to think I might do something, but it was such a long way up from where
I stood. They have been taking tremendous fees up there for their own
advice, generally given to other members of their distinguished body or
to members of their own State legislatures, as to how to vote wisely on
this or that piece of law ordered by their clients. Therefore, it seemed
to me it would be only reasonable for them to take my advice, as they
might be able to turn it over at a good figure a little later on when
the custom-made law business picked up again. Just now I don't suppose
they could do much with it, for most of those old codgers are as glum
as a funeral march; but, of course, I admit I am no judge of chin music
and could not understand what they said, probably, if they spoke.
I want to state right here, though, that it is a mistake for a man to
undertake to save the country and to have ideas on that subject when he
tries to help another fellow win the heart of a girl and gets mixed up
in the tangle that such interference is bound to bring on anybody who
attempts it. I didn't know, and therefore I should have thrown up the
job as soon as I began to get wound in it. You have heard that gentle
hum of the buzz-saw? You have seen how still it runs and how its
feathery edge seems calm during the lull in the sawmill? You also
noticed that no one who understands the sawmill business ever goes near
it to give it a friendly tap just when it is looking that way? It is the
same with the other fellow's love affairs. Leave them alone when all is
quiet, and when there are ructions leave them alone. They are buzz-saws
for theorists. A man with ideas on saving the country is the poorest man
in the world to undertake to help save a friend with a sick heart. The
little matter of the country is a cinch compared to that job. Why, the
little matter of stringing a few extra stars to make traveling at night
safer on the Milky Way would be an easy contract compared to that. But I
touched the saw and it certainly did cut off a lot of opinions I used to
be proud of.
Jim and I had a habit of going over the sad state of the country pretty
thoroughly during our leisure moments in the evening. There were chairs
in our parlor that fitted us to a dot. They were seldom if ever dusted,
unless they were accidentally turned over and then some would fall off,
but no one ever disturbed them and ruffled them
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