tions. "Mind you," he cries, "I do not
say that all infidels are immoral." How kind! How generous! No doubt the
infidels will shed tears of gratitude. They are not _all_ immoral. Some
of them may be nearly as good as Talmage. Certainly some of them are
not so avaricious. Infidels speakers don't insist on having fifty
pounds paid in the ante-room before they mount the platform to deliver a
lecture.

It appears that Talmage once knew a "pronounced infidel." He was the
father of one of the Presidents of the United States. Talmage accepted
an invitation to spend a night in his house. "Just before retiring at
night, he said, in a jocose way: 'I suppose you are accustomed to read
the Bible before going to bed, and here is my Bible from which to read.
He then told me what portions he would like to have me read, and he only
asked for those portions on which he could easily be facetious."

Talmage gives himself away in this observation. He contends that God
wrote the Bible. Why, then, did God write it so that you could _easily_
be facetious about it? It is not so _easy_ to be facetious about Homer,
or Plato, or Aristotle, or Dante, or Spinoza, or Shakespeare, or Bacon.
There is no humor in the Bible, no wit, and only a little sarcasm. We
do not laugh _with_ it, but _at_ it, which is the most fatal form of
laughter. It is awfully solemn, but dreadfully absurd. There are things
in it to tickle an elephant. Surely it is strange that God should write
a book that lends itself so easily to ridicule.

The Spurgeon of Yankeeland goes on to speak about the "internal
evidence" of the Bible. This he says is "paramount," though he takes
care to skip off as quickly as possible to outside testimony. He cites
a number of persons trained up as Christians in favor of the
"supernatural" character of the Bible. The first is Chief Justice Chase,
of the Supreme Court of the United States--against whom we put a great
jurisprudist like Bentham, and a great judge like Sir James Stephen. The
second is President Adams--against whom we put President Lincoln.
The third is Sir Isaac Newton--against whom we put Charles Darwin. The
fourth is Sir Walter Scott--against whom we put Byron and Shelley. The
fifth is Hugh Miller--against whom we put Sir Charles Lyell. The sixth
is Edmund Burke--against whom we put Thomas Paine, or, if that will not
do, Lord Bolingbroke. The seventh is Mr. Gladstone--against whom we put
John Morley. "Enough! Enough!" says Talmage.