degree, but not a tenth part so well
as something else we shall talk of by and by; as for wet--what woman
ever trusted to her bonnet in a shower of rain? What woman does not
either pop up her parasol, or green cotton umbrella, or, if she has not
these female arms, ties over it her pocket-handkerchief, in a vain
attempt to keep off the pluvious god? Women are more frightened at
spoiling their bonnets than any other article of their dress: let them
but once get their bonnets under the dripping eaves of an umbrella, and,
like ostriches sticking their heads under ground, they think their whole
persons safe;--we appeal to any man who has walked down Cheapside with
his eyes open, on a rainy day, whether this be not true. And then for
the sun--who among the ladies trust to her bonnet for keeping her face
from freckling? Else why all the paraphernalia of parasols? why all
these endless patents for sylphides and sunscreens of every kind, form,
and colour? why can you never meet a lady in a summerwalk without one of
these elegant little contrivances in her hand? Comfort, we apprehend,
does not reside in a bonnet: look at a lady travelling, whether in a
carriage or a railroad diligence--she cannot for a moment lean back into
one of the nice pillowed corners of the vehicle, without running
imminent risk of crushing her bonnet; her head can never repose; she has
no travelling-cap, like a man, to put on while she stows away her bonnet
in some convenient place: the stiffened gauze, or canvass, or paper, of
which its inner framework is composed, rustles and crackles with every
attempt at compression; and a pound's worth or two of damage may be done
by a gentle tap or squeeze. Women, if candid, would allow that their
bonnets gave them much more trouble than comfort, and that they have
remained in use solely as conventional objects of dress--we will not
allow, of ornament. The only position in which a bonnet is becoming--and
even then it is only the modern class of bonnets--is, when they are
viewed full front: further, as we observed before, they make a nice
_encadrement_ for the face: and, with their endless adjuncts of lace,
ribands, and flowers, they commonly set off even moderately pretty
features to advantage. But is only the present kind of bonnet that does
so; the old-fashioned, poking, flaunting, square-cornered bonnet never
became any female physiognomy: it is only the small, tight,
come-and-kiss-me style of bonnet now worn by la