al runaway couple, seeking the marriage bond,
added a few dollars to his bank account, for the Judge had a
happy-go-lucky ceremony which did not impress nor detain a restless
lover too seriously with the sanctity of the occasion. There were a few
law books on the table, a heavy tool-chest, where the Judge kept a jug
of white corn whiskey under lock and key. The police Judge, a sort of
hanger-on about town, put a coal of fire in his pipe and said,
"Gentlemen, air you ready to try this case?"

Budlong arose and balanced his ponderous form against the table, holding
a law-book in his hand. The tuft of whiskers on his chin seemed to
quiver into an accompaniment to his words. He began reading in a deep
voice: "Gentlemen of the jury, to enlighten you as to the nature of this
case, I shall read to you under Subdivision V, Section 1165, Kentucky
Statutes: 'If any person shall by fighting, or otherwise unlawfully pull
or put out an eye, cut or bite off the tongue, nose, ear or lip, or cut
or bite off any other limb or member of another person, he shall be
confined in the penetentiary for not less than one, or more than five
years'."

"That law don't seem to apply to this case," said the police-Judge.

"Shut up," said Budlong, "I ain't through. What do you know about law,
anyhow?"

"I ain't very strong on tecknickelties," said the police-Judge, "duly
elected by the voters of this town, I am the Court, and as such I
perpose to perside, and I demand, sah, your respectful recognition of
that fact."

"Duly elected," said Budlong, "because nobody else would have it. But,
gentlemen of the jury, I shall read you Section 1166, which is as
follows, 'If any person shall draw and present a pistol, loaded with
lead or other substance, or shoot at and wound another with the
intention to kill him, so that he does not die thereby, he shall be
confined in the penetentiary not less than one, or more than five years.
There's your law, gentlemen. Call the first witness!"

"Bill Shonts!" called the marshall. Bill came to the chair.

"What's your name?"

"W'y, Jedge, you know my name."

"Answer my question. What's your name?"

"Bill Shonts."

"Where do you live?"

"Sho, Jedge, you've knowed me all my life!"

"That ain't the question. You answer accordin' to the custom of the
court."

"I want you to state what you know about this case."

"Directly, or indirectly, Jedge?"

"Where was you when this difficulty started?"

"Well, si