fail in profitably improving it.
Often had I wished within the last months that I might have more
time. Now the Lord has given it to me, but alas! how little of it is
improved for prayer. I find it a difficult thing, whilst caring for
the body, not to neglect the soul. It seems to me much easier to go
on altogether regardless of the body, in the service of the Lord,
than to take care of the body, in the time of sickness, and not to
neglect the soul, especially in an affliction like my present one,
when the head allows but little reading or thinking.---What a blessed
prospect to be delivered from this wretched evil nature! I can say
nothing respecting this day, and this evening in particular, but that
I am a wretched man.

Nov. 24. I am now quite sure that I want more than mere quiet and
change of air, even medical advice. My general health seems improved
through my stay at Weston, but the disease in my head is increased. I
have had many distressing moments since I have been at Weston, on
account of fearing that my disease may be the forerunner of insanity;
yet God has in mercy sustained me, and enabled me, in some small
measure, notwithstanding my great sinfulness, to realize the blessing
of being in Christ, and therefore secure for ever.

Nov. 25. We returned to Bristol. I was at peace, being able to cast
myself upon the Lord respecting the calamity which I feared. This
evening I saw a kind physician and surgeon, who told me that the
disease is either a tendency of blood to the head, or that the nerves
of the head are in a disordered state. They also told me that I had
not the least reason to fear insanity. How little grateful is my soul
for this!

Nov. 29. I am no better. A sister sent me today 5l. also a pickled
tongue, fowls, cakes, and beautiful grapes were sent to me. My cup,
as to temporal mercies, runs over.---One of the Orphan children died
while I was at Weston Super Mare. There is reason to believe that she
died in the faith.

Nov. 30. I am not any better. I have written to my father, perhaps,
for the last time. All is well, all will be well, all cannot but be
well; because I am in Christ. How precious that now, in this my
sickness, I have not to seek after the Lord, but have already found
Him.

Dec. 1. By the mercy of God my head is somewhat relieved. My liver is
in a most inactive state, which, as my kind medical attendants tell
me, has created the pressure on the top of the head, and through the
i