ipe from his mouth. "Speak English, you fool,"
bawled Mr. Jorrocks. "Sie sind sehr unverschaemt" (you are very
impudent), replied the Dutchman with a thump on the table. "I'll run
you through the gizzard!" rejoined Mr. Jorrocks, half drawing his
sword,--"skin you alive, in fact!" when in rushed the Countess and threw
herself between them.

Now, Mynheer Van Rosembom, a burgomaster of Flushing, was an old friend
of the Countess's, and an exceedingly good paying one, and having cast
up that morning quite unexpectedly by the early diligence from Dunkirk,
and the Countess being enraged at Mr. Jorrocks for not sharing the
honours of his procession in the cab on the previous day, and believing,
moreover, that his treasury was pretty well exhausted, thought she could
not do better than instal Rosembom in his place, and retain the stakes
she held for the Colonel's board and lodging.

This arrangement she kept to herself, simply giving Rosembom, who was
not a much better Frenchman than Col. Jorrocks, to understand that the
room would be ready for him shortly, and Agamemnon was ordered to bundle
Mr. Jorrocks's clothes into his portmanteau and bag, and place them in
readiness in the ante-room. Rosembom, fatigued with his journey, then
retired to enjoy his pipe at his ease, while the Countess went to the
Marche St. Honore to buy some sour crout, roast beef, and prunes for his
dinner.

"Turn this great slush-bucket out of my room!" cried Mr. Jorrocks, as
the Countess rushed into his apartment. "Vot's he doing here?"

"Doucement, mon cher Colonel," said she, clapping him on the back, "he
sall be my brodder." "Never such a thing!" roared Mr. Jorrocks, eyeing
him as he spoke. "Never such a thing! no more than myself--out with him,
I say, or I'll cut my stick--_toute suite--_directly!"

"Avec tout mon coeur!" replied the Countess, her choler rising as she
spoke. "You're another," rejoined Mr. Jorrocks, judging by her manner
that she called him something offensive--"Vous ete one mauvaise woman!"
"Monsieur," said the Countess, her eyes flashing as she spoke, "vous
etes un polisson!--von rascal!--von dem villain!--un charlatan!--von
nasty--bastely--ross bif!--dem dog!" and thereupon she curled her
fingers and set her teeth on edge as though she would tear his very eyes
out. Rosembom, though he didn't exactly see the merits of the matter,
exchanged his pipe for the poker, so what with this, the sword, and the
nails, things wore a very b