FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127   128   129  
130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   >>   >|  
and went to him, and as soon as the difficulties began he turned on me in Naples like a wild beast, blaming me and insulting me. "I had to fly to Paris, having lost everything through him--wife and income and self-respect, everything; but I always thought that he was at least generous as a man of his name should be: I had no idea he could be stingy and mean; but now he is comparatively rich, he prefers to squander his money on jockeys and trainers and horses, of which he knows nothing, instead of lifting me out of my misery. Surely it is not too much to ask him to give me a tenth when I gave him all? Won't you ask him?" "I think he ought to have done what you want, without asking," I admitted, "but I am certain my speaking would not do any good. He shows me hatred already whenever I do not agree with him. Hate is nearer to him always than sympathy: he is his father's son, Oscar, and I can do nothing. I cannot even speak to him about it." "Oh, Frank, you ought to," said Oscar. "But suppose he retorted and said you led him astray, what could I answer?" "Led him astray!" cried Oscar, starting up, "you cannot believe that. You know better than that. It is not true. It is he who always led, always dominated me; he is as imperious as a Caesar. It was he who began our intimacy: he who came to me in London when I did not want to see him, or rather, Frank, I wanted to but I was afraid; at the very beginning I was afraid of what it would all lead to, and I avoided him; the desperate aristocratic pride in him, the dreadful bold, imperious temper in him terrified me. But he came to London and sent for me to come to him, said he would come to my house if I didn't. I went, thinking I could reason with him; but it was impossible. When I told him we must be very careful, for I was afraid of what might happen, he made fun of my fears, and encouraged me. He knew that they'd never dare to punish him; he's allied to half the peerage and he did not care what became of me.... "He led me first to the street, introduced me to the male prostitution in London. From the beginning to the end he has driven me like the Oestrum of which the Greeks wrote, which drove the ill-fated to disaster. "And now he says he owes me nothing; I have no _claim_, I who gave to him without counting; he says he needs all his money for himself: he wants to win races and to write poetry, Frank, the pretty verses which he thinks poetry. "He has ruined
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   105   106   107   108   109   110   111   112   113   114   115   116   117   118   119   120   121   122   123   124   125   126   127   128   129  
130   131   132   133   134   135   136   137   138   139   140   141   142   143   144   145   146   147   148   149   150   151   152   153   154   >>   >|  



Top keywords:

afraid

 

London

 

poetry

 

beginning

 
astray
 
imperious
 

thinking

 

impossible

 

reason

 

encouraged


careful

 
happen
 

turned

 

avoided

 
desperate
 

Naples

 
wanted
 
aristocratic
 
terrified
 

temper


dreadful

 

punish

 
counting
 

disaster

 

verses

 
thinks
 

ruined

 

pretty

 
Greeks
 
peerage

allied
 

street

 
difficulties
 
driven
 

Oestrum

 

introduced

 

prostitution

 

generous

 
admitted
 

hatred


thought

 
speaking
 

stingy

 

misery

 

Surely

 

lifting

 

trainers

 

jockeys

 

squander

 

prefers