right, while I am only terribly hindered in getting ready for this
world a whole year without the chance of a lecture. And then they have
all kinds of nice theories about pain, discipline, and that sort of
thing, which no doubt make it more bearable, while to me it is just
the one unmitigated evil. But, oh! They don't know what pain means! For
there is no death to them no endless separation. What a delusion it is!
They ought to be happy enough. Oh, mother! mother!"

After all, what she really dreaded in her enforced pause was the leisure
for thought. She had plunged into work of all kinds, had half killed
herself with work, had tried to hold her despair at arms' length. But
now there was no help for it. She must rest, and the thoughts must come.

CHAPTER XIII. Losing One Friend to Gain Another

For toleration had its griefs,
And charity its trial. Whittier

"Well, Osmond, you got into hot water a few years ago for defending
Raeburn in public, and by this time you will find it not merely hot, but
up to boiling point. The fellow is more notorious than ever."

The speaker was one of Charles Osmond's college friends, a certain Mr.
Roberts, who had been abroad for a good many years, but, having returned
on account of his health, had for a few months been acting as curate to
his friend.

"A man who works as indefatigably as Mr. Raeburn has done can hardly
avoid being noticed," replied Charles Osmond.

"You speak as if you admired the fellow!"

"There is a good deal to admire in Mr. Raeburn. However greatly mistaken
he is, there is no doubt that he is a brave man, and an honest man."

"You can speak in such a way of a man who makes his living by speaking
and writing against God."

"I hope I can speak the truth of every man, whether his creed agrees
with mine or not."

"A man who grows rich on blasphemy! Who sows poison among the people and
reaps the harvest!" exclaimed Mr. Roberts.

"That he teaches fearful error, I quite allow," said Charles Osmond,
"but it is the grossest injustice to say that he does it for gain. His
atheism brought him to the very brink of starvation some years ago. Even
now he is so crippled by the endless litigation he has had that he lives
in absolute penury."

"But that letter you sent to the 'Church Chronicle' was so uncalled for,
you put the comparison so broadly."

"I put it in plain 'English'," said Charles Osmond, "I merely said, as
I think, that he puts many of us