rson. He is therefore at once amicably disposed towards you,
and is not likely to let the conversation languish, so auspiciously
begun. He in turn becomes the questioner, and so in not many moments you
stand on the footing of equals. But remember, all this is true only on
condition that the questions are _properly put_. If they manifest an
impertinent curiosity, a mere disposition to pry into affairs which do
not belong to one,--if they are of a nature to expose the ignorance of
the questioned, even though not intended for such,--if they are
incessant, and unrelieved by any affirmations, as though you were
unwilling to commit yourself, or grudged to impart your knowledge,--and,
finally, if the tone and voice of the questioner imply a feeling of
superiority,--then, instead of promoting conversation, you will have
done your worst to check it. You will have made the breach wider than if
you had said nothing. Again, before putting your questions, consider a
little the character of the man or woman whom you would address; for,
while some evidently delight in being the objects of interrogation,
others are as plainly, beyond a very moderate amount, annoyed by it. You
must, of course, take this into account. You will gain nothing by the
rudeness of pressing your questions upon unwilling ears. If one
obstinately (or not obstinately) refuses to be drawn out, there is no
help for it but silence. Conversation implies _some_ reciprocity,--not
by any means an equal amount of words on both sides, but at any rate
some sign of intelligence, some expression of interest, some listening
ear and face to encourage you; else it were better to utter your
monologue to the woods and flowers.

Another rule of conversation, as old at least as George Herbert, is, to
talk with men on the subjects which belong to their peculiar calling or
occupation,--with a farmer about his crops, with a merchant about the
markets, with a sailor about the charms and perils of the sea, etc. Let
it be only with considerable qualification that you accept this rule. I
like Coleridge's comment on it: Talk with a man about his trade or
business, if your object is to get information on such points; but if
you wish to know the man himself, try him on all other topics sooner.
The rule, however, is a convenient one; it is almost instinctively
adopted in general society; and if judiciously applied, it may express a
friendly feeling, which it is very desirable to commence with.